Pain

From the outside looking in, one might think that everything is ok.  Never knowing the stuggles overcome to face and make it through another day.  No one hears my cries at night, brought on by the battle called life.

I desire to be free...free from the pain that seems to follow and engulf me. My faith that change is going to come is the only thing that keeps me going...but the uncertantity of not knowing when my day will come sometimes is the thing that gets me down.

I wonder when misery will be over...in the wind I can hear the words hold on a little longer, you're works almost done....

Finding My Way

I consider myself the "best of both worlds".  Originally from Harlem, NY; I grew up in a middle class two parent household.  My father was a superintendant and my mother was a stay at home mom.  Education was valued in my home.  While I love to learn I do not agree with society's protocol on learning.  To me knowledge is power and an individual should decide what they feel they need to know.  I always excelled in school.  I attended a gifted and talented grammer/middle school.

For high school I decided to go to a regular public school.  I didn't want to go away as some of my peers elected to do.  When I entered high school I had a good amount of credits and therefore it was rather difficult for my counselors to build a schedule for me that would challenge me.  It was then that I say first hand the difference between the elite and common folk.

Due to lack of interest I began to skip school...however I wasn't your average teenager.  I choose to spend my time in the law library instead of the classroom.  Nontheless I made it out of high school at the age of 16 and decided to attend college.

Another "gaf" as  receiveing a higher education would warrant you success (a decent/high paying job and material items that enforce the notion that you have arrived).

My initial major was accounting. Since the age of 14 I had a job.  My first job was as a cashier in the local neighborhood supermarket.  Commerce and finance intrigued me.  I went on to leave my first job and become a Chiropractic Assitant and Bookkeeper.  Both of those positions required me to handle cash and do financial record keeping.

Thus I thought that accounting was the way to go.  Once in the program and while continuing to work as a bookkeeper it became clear as day to me that the accounting profession was not something that I could do for the rest of my life.

To me a job/work is about more than a paycheck.  I wanted to spend my life and the majority of my hours doing something that I enjoyed and helping people.  I did not want to become one of those people that dreaded getting up in the morning; to head to a place that I would spend 8 or more hours of the day, anticipating the clock hands reaching the time designated for me to leave.

I know way too many people that experience this dilema on a daily basis.  I also know a good number of people who majored in areas of study that have nothing to do with their job and what they do.

Always the radical, lol from a young age I knew that I did not and would not work for someone my whole life.....thus I began a quest across industries (media, publicity, real estate, corporate america etc) to find what it was that made my heart happy.

After being in the workforce for over 13 years, I have concluded that my hypothesis is correct...in order to be successful You have to set standards, be an innovator and must importantly as Coco Chanel said "in order to be irreplaceable, one must be different."